How to Lose the Room (and How to Keep It)
The Art (and Responsibility) of Speaking
A few weeks ago, I attended an incredible conference, one of those events that fills your notebook and your heart. The energy was electric, the speakers were passionate, and the community was full of connection. But amid all the inspiration, I witnessed something that made me stop and reflect - not as an attendee, but as a speaker.
Timing is an art form.
In theatre, we rehearse relentlessly so every light cue, entrance, and line lands precisely. But at conferences, where people fly in from all over the world and schedules run tight, that structure often gets lost. And when it does, even the best talks can unravel.
Prefer to listen? Check it out on the Own Your Story Podcast.
When Passion Turns into Overwhelm
At this particular event, I watched several presenters capture their audiences completely and then… slowly lose them. Not because their stories weren’t compelling, but because they went over time. Thirty to forty-five minutes over. You could feel the room shift from engaged to restless. Eyes wandered. The energy dropped.
It’s not about the extra minutes themselves, it’s about respect. Respect for the event organizers, the audience, and even for yourself as a speaker. When you don’t practice, when you don’t honor the container you’ve been given, you risk losing the very impact you came to make.
Practice Isn’t Optional
If you’ve been given an hour, you have one job: be ready to deliver within that time frame. That means practicing - out loud, with your slides, with a timer, ideally in front of people. Know what a 60-minute talk feels like.
And please don’t read your slides. If you’re relying on them to carry your message, you’ll flatten it. Slides should be touch points: keywords, images, prompts. Slides are not a script.
I once showed my students a TED Talk where a dancer replaced PowerPoint slides with movement to illustrate the same ideas. It was captivating. Not because it was flashy, but because it was alive. Your words deserve that same energy.
Land the Plane
Every good story has a takeoff, a flight, and a landing. As a speaker, your talk should too. But when you don’t manage your time, you lose the opportunity to land the plane, to tie together your story, your message, your heart.
I watched one incredible presenter run out of time before he could finish. His talk was moving, his props were creative, his energy magnetic, but he didn’t get to tie the bow. The audience was left hovering, wanting closure that never came.
And here’s the truth: that’s not fair to your message. You worked hard on that story. It deserves to land.
Preparation Is a Form of Respect
On the other hand, one of the speakers stood calmly at the podium with her notes. She wasn’t flashy. She wasn’t moving across the stage or gesturing wildly. But she was prepared. She delivered her talk beautifully, within her time, and even left space for questions, which turned out to be the most engaging part of her session.
Another speaker finished early, leaving twenty extra minutes for conversation. Those moments of dialogue authentic, curious, and human were where the magic happened.
As speakers, we sometimes believe the value lies in what we have to say. But often, the value lies in what others get to ask.
Make the Space Yours
One of the women I spoke with after her presentation told me her notes got mixed up because there were unexpected items on the podium. She felt flustered and thrown off. I told her something I tell every speaker: You’ve earned the right to be on that stage. Take 30 seconds to make it yours.
Move things aside. Adjust the microphone. Create the environment you need to deliver your best. Preparation isn’t just about rehearsing, it’s about creating the conditions that allow you to show up fully.
When to Say No
One speaker admitted that his talk normally ran three hours, but he’d been given ninety minutes. He mentioned this more than once, even as he continued talking far past his time. It wasn’t just inconsiderate; it was a missed opportunity.
If your talk can’t be shortened without losing its essence, say so. Protect your integrity as a speaker. It’s okay to decline an invitation rather than compromise your message, but if you do accept, honour the time you’ve been given.
The Real Lesson
The real takeaway? Practice is a love language. It’s how you show respect to your audience, your hosts, and your message.
Rehearse. Time yourself. Rehearse again. Because when you don’t, when you wing it, you risk losing the room, the moment, and the impact you came to make.
And if you’re looking for guidance - someone to help refine your story, tighten your timing, or prepare for your next talk that’s exactly what I help people do!
You’ve worked too hard on your story to let it fizzle out. Let’s help it land.
Learn more about working together HERE
